'What will survive of us is love' wrote poet Philip Larkin referring to a 14th century stone sculpture he saw of a man and a woman, holding hands, resting on top of their tomb. What physically survives is something different. Whether we are buried or cremated our bones can remain for hundreds, even thousands, of years. What we choose to do with those remains can depend on whether we see them as part of the person we loved in life or just the empty shell of that person.