}
OH442 Interview with Peter Dolman (OutStories Bristol)
Please note this is not a full correct transcript but a detailed summary of the recording
00:00:00 - Introduction. 00:00:47 – Peter Dolman (PD), born in Staffordshire and came to Bristol in 1974 at the age of 22, with the sole purpose of coming out. Qualifying as an accountant, and looking for somewhere to go where PD could be anonymous and come out. Based on size and geography, getting to London getting back to the Midlands. 00:02:15 - Left school at 17, went to college in Slough, first move away from home. Not wanting to go back home, going to the USA for a few months spending time in San Francisco, choosing Bristol as a place to continue career and come out. Arriving, short of money, living in YMCA in town, central in town before renting a flat in Clifton and buying a flat in Redland. Very convenient living at the YMCA for the gay scene, close to The Ship the main pub, and the Oasis was becoming a gay club, and the Moulin Rouge which closed down shortly after PD arrived. 00:04:28 - YMCA was £7 a week for bed and breakfast. Overall impressions of Bristol: an exciting new place, enjoyed exploring it and finding way around. Arrived but took time to come out. Knowing his own attraction to men, but thinking it might be a phase. Kept it under wraps, but knowing it could not be that way forever. 00:06:22 - Coming Out: phoned someone at CHE (Campaign for Homosexual Equiality), asking if there was a cure. Embarrassed about that now. Very quickly, PD found the gay scene in Bristol - had fun going to pubs and clubs, made new friends.
00:07:20 - Typical night out in 1975. Go to The Ship (pub) first, have a few drinks then on to the Oasis (club) - mainly on the weekend, but sometimes out till 2:00 am and then go to work the next day. Meeting men, having different relationships. 00:08:23 - Finding a home in Bristol. Never thought beyond Bristol, coming out and building "real life". Building a network of friends, gay and straight, who knew PD was out. 00:09:19 - Out life vs. home life - being out in Bristol, while closeted when visiting family in the Midlands. Father died at 11, leaving PD's mum and two sisters. Coming out to family via a letter, writing to PD's mum. Dreading every phone call, but received a letter back from his mum and both sisters. Really supportive, PD's family said all the right things. 00:11:00 - Getting involved in Gay Centre, Gay Switchboard. PD was the treasurer. Gay Centre made lunches on Saturdays, parties, meetings, in MacArthur warehouse by SS Great Britain. Also a volunteer at Gay Switchboard. He also collected 'Gay News' the newsletter at Temple Meads and distributed to the gay pubs and gay centre every fortnight. Saw it as a sign of some sort of commitment to the community. Mainly involved in these in the early 1980s. 00:13:20 - Motivation for getting involved: first few years of coming out all social, dancing, drinking, but eventually looked for more depth. 00:14:00 - The Gay Centre was a social and political statement, a large room with smaller rooms and meeting area. Around the weekend, Saturday lunch was successful. Meetings throughout the week, memory of a joint meeting between gay community and transgender/transsexual community. Attracted a slightly older crowd, it was a different from the club scene
00:15:30 - Experience on Gay Switchboard. Giving back to the community, met Charlie [presumably Charlie Beaton] in the Gay Centre and developed a friendship. Often worked Sunday nights, quite quiet and bleak. Went through training, received many calls, those coming out those looking for information on where clubs were. 00:16:39 - Types of calls. People looking for a scene guide, people struggling with their sexuality, silent calls. Many difficult calls, and sometimes abusive calls. Every call was logged, all times and dates were written down. Usually one person worked at a time, unless someone was going through training process. 00:18:50 - Switchboard was located in someone's house originally, but then moved to the Gay Centre - this was when PD got involved. When the Gay Centre closed it moved to somewhere on the Gloucester Road. 00:20:00 - Closing the Gay Centre, struggling to generate income and pay rent. People organising it got worn out, and it was not in a great location. Might have been attempts to open one elsewhere.
00:21:00 - Changes to the gay community in Bristol. Moving on from the pub and club scene, Bristol has always struggled - it seemed like the scene should be bigger or better. Very disparate scene, in different locations. The climate has changed. Involvement in a gay bashing incident, outside (gay club) The Queenshilling, running into some straight guys who chased the group into The Hatchet (non-gay pub). Came into the pub and damaged pub, threw a bar stool at Charlie. People in the pub were supportive. Going to A&E with Charlie. Incident about 15 or 20 years ago. You did have to be careful, some people were brazen and fearless, but PD thought you had to be careful. 00:24:30 - Politically things have changed, momentum got bigger and bigger pulling people in and growing acceptance. 00:25:00 - Gay scenes in other places. Going to Pride in London, being nervous about being 'visible'. Very exciting seeing so many gay men and women. More recently we had gay festivals in Bristol, and gay marches and PD would feel relaxed marching now, although he is not fully out. PD comes out as he needs to, feels happy knowing a few people accept it. Experience of being a teacher, coming out to colleagues. 00:27:10 - Worked as a teacher from the late 1980s, going into support work, and then back to accounting now as part-retired.
00:28:10 - Experience in the school system as a staff member. Worked in Primary schools, mainly infants. Generally staff were fine, but PD was only out to some people. Always out to Head Teacher. Memory of "Jenny Lives with Martin and John"[book] or something like that. Quite controversial. 00:29:30 - Involvement in Bristol Pride in the 1980s and 1990s. Gay Pride/Festival was a good thing. Always depended on someone leading the organisation, sometimes it struggled a bit. Not aware of any difficulty or trouble, it was all part of the process of developing equality and awareness. 00:30:50 - Doing a radio programme for Great Western Radio (GWR) - being interviewed and hosting phone-in where people asked questions with four others. One guy was out and used full name, but PD chose to use first name only. People were understanding that some people were more out and others wanted to be cautious. 00:33:00 - Having a daughter. Being approached by a lesbian friend to be a sperm donor. Considering the responsibility and negotiating terms of becoming a father. The terms were critical, agreed on where responsibilities would lay and went through the process of donating and inseminating, and had a daughter who was born in 1981. On the whole it was quite successful, other cases PD knows where things have broken down, but they were quite successful. 00:36:15 - Terms changed over time, PD getting more involved than he initially intended. Ended up moving in next door to the family (two women with children including his daughter). Worked out quite well, as the children had more houses to play in. Summary of his role in the family, going to parent's evening, taking the children on holiday, etc. Daughter faced some difficulty at one stage, and chose to be secretive about it sometimes and less so as she grew up. Is now well adjusted and a very nice young women. 00:39:20 - Knowing a few other people who also had children, meeting other gay men who had children with lesbians as well, but didn't feel a sense of community amongst gay parents. Telling male gay friends who were intrigued about it. 00:41:50 - Family accepting coming out, as well as meeting PD's daughter. 00:43:09 - End of Recording.
00:00:00 - Introduction. 00:00:47 – Peter Dolman (PD), born in Staffordshire and came to Bristol in 1974 at the age of 22, with the sole purpose of coming out. Qualifying as an accountant, and looking for somewhere to go where PD could be anonymous and come out. Based on size and geography, getting to London getting back to the Midlands. 00:02:15 - Left school at 17, went to college in Slough, first move away from home. Not wanting to go back home, going to the USA for a few months spending time in San Francisco, choosing Bristol as a place to continue career and come out. Arriving, short of money, living in YMCA in town, central in town before renting a flat in Clifton and buying a flat in Redland. Very convenient living at the YMCA for the gay scene, close to The Ship the main pub, and the Oasis was becoming a gay club, and the Moulin Rouge which closed down shortly after PD arrived. 00:04:28 - YMCA was £7 a week for bed and breakfast. Overall impressions of Bristol: an exciting new place, enjoyed exploring it and finding way around. Arrived but took time to come out. Knowing his own attraction to men, but thinking it might be a phase. Kept it under wraps, but knowing it could not be that way forever. 00:06:22 - Coming Out: phoned someone at CHE (Campaign for Homosexual Equiality), asking if there was a cure. Embarrassed about that now. Very quickly, PD found the gay scene in Bristol - had fun going to pubs and clubs, made new friends.
00:07:20 - Typical night out in 1975. Go to The Ship (pub) first, have a few drinks then on to the Oasis (club) - mainly on the weekend, but sometimes out till 2:00 am and then go to work the next day. Meeting men, having different relationships. 00:08:23 - Finding a home in Bristol. Never thought beyond Bristol, coming out and building "real life". Building a network of friends, gay and straight, who knew PD was out. 00:09:19 - Out life vs. home life - being out in Bristol, while closeted when visiting family in the Midlands. Father died at 11, leaving PD's mum and two sisters. Coming out to family via a letter, writing to PD's mum. Dreading every phone call, but received a letter back from his mum and both sisters. Really supportive, PD's family said all the right things. 00:11:00 - Getting involved in Gay Centre, Gay Switchboard. PD was the treasurer. Gay Centre made lunches on Saturdays, parties, meetings, in MacArthur warehouse by SS Great Britain. Also a volunteer at Gay Switchboard. He also collected 'Gay News' the newsletter at Temple Meads and distributed to the gay pubs and gay centre every fortnight. Saw it as a sign of some sort of commitment to the community. Mainly involved in these in the early 1980s. 00:13:20 - Motivation for getting involved: first few years of coming out all social, dancing, drinking, but eventually looked for more depth. 00:14:00 - The Gay Centre was a social and political statement, a large room with smaller rooms and meeting area. Around the weekend, Saturday lunch was successful. Meetings throughout the week, memory of a joint meeting between gay community and transgender/transsexual community. Attracted a slightly older crowd, it was a different from the club scene
00:15:30 - Experience on Gay Switchboard. Giving back to the community, met Charlie [presumably Charlie Beaton] in the Gay Centre and developed a friendship. Often worked Sunday nights, quite quiet and bleak. Went through training, received many calls, those coming out those looking for information on where clubs were. 00:16:39 - Types of calls. People looking for a scene guide, people struggling with their sexuality, silent calls. Many difficult calls, and sometimes abusive calls. Every call was logged, all times and dates were written down. Usually one person worked at a time, unless someone was going through training process. 00:18:50 - Switchboard was located in someone's house originally, but then moved to the Gay Centre - this was when PD got involved. When the Gay Centre closed it moved to somewhere on the Gloucester Road. 00:20:00 - Closing the Gay Centre, struggling to generate income and pay rent. People organising it got worn out, and it was not in a great location. Might have been attempts to open one elsewhere.
00:21:00 - Changes to the gay community in Bristol. Moving on from the pub and club scene, Bristol has always struggled - it seemed like the scene should be bigger or better. Very disparate scene, in different locations. The climate has changed. Involvement in a gay bashing incident, outside (gay club) The Queenshilling, running into some straight guys who chased the group into The Hatchet (non-gay pub). Came into the pub and damaged pub, threw a bar stool at Charlie. People in the pub were supportive. Going to A&E with Charlie. Incident about 15 or 20 years ago. You did have to be careful, some people were brazen and fearless, but PD thought you had to be careful. 00:24:30 - Politically things have changed, momentum got bigger and bigger pulling people in and growing acceptance. 00:25:00 - Gay scenes in other places. Going to Pride in London, being nervous about being 'visible'. Very exciting seeing so many gay men and women. More recently we had gay festivals in Bristol, and gay marches and PD would feel relaxed marching now, although he is not fully out. PD comes out as he needs to, feels happy knowing a few people accept it. Experience of being a teacher, coming out to colleagues. 00:27:10 - Worked as a teacher from the late 1980s, going into support work, and then back to accounting now as part-retired.
00:28:10 - Experience in the school system as a staff member. Worked in Primary schools, mainly infants. Generally staff were fine, but PD was only out to some people. Always out to Head Teacher. Memory of "Jenny Lives with Martin and John"[book] or something like that. Quite controversial. 00:29:30 - Involvement in Bristol Pride in the 1980s and 1990s. Gay Pride/Festival was a good thing. Always depended on someone leading the organisation, sometimes it struggled a bit. Not aware of any difficulty or trouble, it was all part of the process of developing equality and awareness. 00:30:50 - Doing a radio programme for Great Western Radio (GWR) - being interviewed and hosting phone-in where people asked questions with four others. One guy was out and used full name, but PD chose to use first name only. People were understanding that some people were more out and others wanted to be cautious. 00:33:00 - Having a daughter. Being approached by a lesbian friend to be a sperm donor. Considering the responsibility and negotiating terms of becoming a father. The terms were critical, agreed on where responsibilities would lay and went through the process of donating and inseminating, and had a daughter who was born in 1981. On the whole it was quite successful, other cases PD knows where things have broken down, but they were quite successful. 00:36:15 - Terms changed over time, PD getting more involved than he initially intended. Ended up moving in next door to the family (two women with children including his daughter). Worked out quite well, as the children had more houses to play in. Summary of his role in the family, going to parent's evening, taking the children on holiday, etc. Daughter faced some difficulty at one stage, and chose to be secretive about it sometimes and less so as she grew up. Is now well adjusted and a very nice young women. 00:39:20 - Knowing a few other people who also had children, meeting other gay men who had children with lesbians as well, but didn't feel a sense of community amongst gay parents. Telling male gay friends who were intrigued about it. 00:41:50 - Family accepting coming out, as well as meeting PD's daughter. 00:43:09 - End of Recording.
